Blue Water Road

         I wouldn’t identify myself as a hardcore stan of most celebrities. However, when the Kehlani album Blue Water Road came out on April 29th, 2022, I absolutely lost my mind. It was the dreaded day of the Illinois 5k and so listening to the album motivated me to push through those miles and make it home as soon as possible. Afterward, I showered and put on the first track: “Little Story”. I was instantly pulled in by the uniquely peaceful R&B melodies. I felt each verse in my chest. The second song “Any Given Sunday” was a little more sultry and clearly sapphic. Every consecutive track promised a new but complementary sound and clever lyrics. This was more than an album, it was an experience. I played the songs on repeat until my phone battery died.  This may sound a lot like stan behavior, but what I love about Kehlani is that they so beautifully balance their musical persona; and their personal life. I would love to be their neighbor because I’m inspired by their commitment to their craft and the way they move through the world. 

        I started listening to Kehlani’s music about 3 years ago when I heard her song “Crazy” in the soundtrack of the movie Step Sisters. From then on, I grew increasingly obsessed. What I love about Kehlani’s artistry is how she balances masculine and feminine energy in her music and how she’s unapologetically herself. It’s very hard to find openly queer RnB music and Kehlani’s music makes me feel seen. When I turn on the song “Honey” or “Everything”, I can retreat from a world that isn’t as accepting of queer women, I can stay enveloped in the addictive rhythms and buttery vocals.

Shot from the song "Everything" on Blue Water Road

        I also love that Kehlani shows growth as an artist and as a human being. They sing mostly about love, but, especially on Blue Water Road, it’s about all kinds of love; for example, their song “Altar” is about growing a deeper relationship with loved ones who’ve passed away. As a person, they’re also deeply committed to growth. I know for me especially, It’s really hard to handle questionable morals in an artist. For example, I can’t hear a Chris Brown song without thinking about all the women that he’s hurt and, in particular, the things he says about dark-skinned black women. I’ve found that my very favorite artists are those that I connect to through their music but also their personalities and moral codes. I’ve watched Kehlani in so many interviews describing their spiritually, emotionally, and physically. They understand the spirit of community and they invite their fans into a mutual learning environment. Kehlani doesn’t seek to be untouchable, and even addresses the importance of humility in the final track “Wondering/Wandering”. Blue Water Road makes me want to sit on the sand by the ocean and watch a beautiful sunrise. Kehlani’s music is honest, healing, and freeing. I would love to live near someone who emanates that kind of energy.

        Even with all my adoration of Kehlani, I often feel conflicted about celebrity culture. What is it that we see in artists? What makes us go crazy for a musician on a stage? One piece of the puzzle is admiration for someone who consistently does something so well, whether that’s music, athletics, acting, or anything else. However, it takes more admiration to breed obsession. Obsession sprouts from our own personal discontent, limitations and inhibitions, our sensitivities. When we become obsessed, we become invested in someone else’s life because we’ve decided to live vicariously through them. That obsession can be harmful for both parties, but it can also be a powerful cue. It can tell us where we’re passive in our own lives and remind us to stop watching and start doing [Not sure how to end here].